Communication Deficit Disorder, Part II
Robert Menard, Certified Purchasing Professional, Certified Professional Purchasing Consultant
Editor’s note: This is Part II of a two Part series. Click here for Part I
On the subject of pronouns
Try to limit the use of these fuzzy parts of speech in your spoken vocabulary. After hearing the second “it” or “she” in a sentence, confusion reigns in the listener’s mind. Substitute proper nouns, preferably names and titles. At home besides me are three daughters, a wife and a dog – all females. Once when I had my back turned, I heard one (of the humans) say, “Did you see what she did to her? It was impossible to determine “who” was on first. Even “they” had no idea “who” “she” or “her” was.
Another obtuse pronoun is the pronoun ‘we’. Did you ever notice how many people say “I” when claiming credit, resort to “we” when blame is assessed. “We” tends to be less personal than “I” in relationship selling. Use “we” when you visit the buyer with your boss.
“Are you talking to me?”
Listening skill is essential. Take a course or study up on listening skills Give the customer every opportunity to speak by asking short questions that require explanatory answers. Ask the customer for permission to take notes. “Could I take a few notes to be sure that I get everything right?” suggests respect and care. This tells the customer that he is important and forces us to pay close listening attention. Read the most important notes back to the customer to be sure that he agrees.
One of the greatest faults in listeners is tuning the speaker out because we assume that we know what the buyer is going to say. Closing one’s mouth and taking notes automatically eliminates this problem.
Beware of verbal clues that indicate wasted, or perhaps untrue statements. The trite “I’m sorry” phrase diminishes one’s viewpoint by apologizing for it in advance. For instance, consider, “I’m sorry, my lab people differ with that conclusion”. Unintentionally, we convey weakness of conviction and insincerity. Honest disagreements need no such justification.
Click for Bob's 3 CD set
Watch your language
The use of the word “but” erases everything that follows. When someone says, “I’m no expert in purchasing, but”, expect to learn all about what an expert he thinks he is. “But” is also heard as whining, as in “But you promised”. Instead, substitute “and” to avoid the erasing effect of “but”.
And, of course, never use “I’m sorry” and “but” in the same sentence. If you say “I’m sorry, but”, you apologize for your statement, and then erase it in the process.
Lastly, loose the expression “to be honest with you”, or, “to tell you the truth”. We may mean to signify important content. The listener however, may wonder if we have been untruthful all along. And why should you be trusted now?
The minefield of Communication Deficit Disorder need not explode into disputes and lost sales. Since nearly all purchase and sales negotiation is done verbally, it makes great sense to concentrate on how we speak and listen.
Part I has more.