What Are the Biggest Mistakes in Influencing Negotiations, Part I
Linda Byars Swindling, negotiation authority, former employment attorney, and author
Editor’s note: Linda Swindling is a regular guest contributor to this blog. This is Part I of a two art series on how to influence a negotiation’s outcome. In Part I, Linda discusses preparation, risk, and questions. In Part II, she addresses creativity and realism in negotiations.
There are three mistakes that repeatedly occur not preparing adequately, not taking calculated risks and not asking enough questions.
Lack of adequate preparation usually results in leaving value on the table or forgetting a key aspect of the negotiation. If wants and needs are not distinguished, you signal that everything has equal value. This approach can confuse or even frustrate other parties who may walk away from the appearance of too many demands that can’t be fulfilled. You can also get confused or miss something critical to the negotiation because some wants or needs were not met. It is terrific to receive some items from your “wish” list but not at the expense of unmet essentials.
In your preparation, consider the interests of the other party. I conducted mediation a few years ago with two doctors, former partners. While in a session with one of the partners, the other doctor had decorated the conference room with neatly written charts that showed “why he should win.” When I asked him where the posters were that reflected his former partner’s interests or why the partner should agree to the position, there was silence. The doctor had methodically planned and thought about his position, but not that of his former partner. I took a break and told the doctor that the mediation would continue after he prepared some posters representing the partner’s side. Fear and force are usually not good reasons to entice someone to negotiate with you. A good negotiator provides benefits which show the other side it makes sense to come to an agreement.
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Sometimes, you just have to chance looking stupid or hearing no. If you are not hearing no, you probably aren’t asking for enough. It also helps to remember that you are taking calculated risks that you have thought through. Luck does play a part in negotiating. However, negotiating rarely involves gambling your life savings on a roulette wheel or taking a chance that might endanger your life. The best outcomes come from minimizing the unknowns, structuring the elements you can control and then taking risks by having the courage to act.