Purchasing and Negotiation Training

Robert Menard, Certified Purchasing Professional, Certified Professional Purchasing Consultant

 The meaning of the words, the intent of the speaker and the comprehension of the listener have three distinctly different messages in negotiation and indeed in all humanity.  

Here are the Three Levels of Meaning in any one’s speech.  

1. What the speaker says
2. What the speaker thinks he is saying
3. What the listener thinks that the speaker is saying.

 These three levels of meaning must be recognized in any communication, and are particularly powerful in negotiation.  In fact, this communication mechanism is the reason that we need to deploy tools like the reflective response, ‘I’ and ‘you’ statements.  It is not possible to always have these three levels overlap.  Moreover, it is more likely that the more familiar negotiators are with each other, the greater the odds for confusion as we assume that we know what the other side means.  Here is an example taken from the domestic scene. 

My youngest daughter and I share a love for cooking.  One night, my 10 year old and I were preparing pasta primavera.  The vegetables were done, the sauce finished, and the pasta al dente.  The cook top is on an island in the kitchen so with my back to her, I could not see that she had set up the colander on trivets in the sink.  She knew that backwash from the sink would contaminate the pasta.

 As I removed the steaming pot from the fire, seeing my daughter in my peripheral vision, I announced, “Clear the sink!” 

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 Let’s apply that one sentence to the three levels of meaning rule.

1. What the speaker said   “Clear the sink!” 
2. What the speaker thought he was saying   words to the effect that she should move away from the sink to avoid a scalding risk. 
3. The listener thought (quite to her consternation and confusion) that I wanted her to remove the colander set up from the sink.

 Such scenarios play out multiple times per day in our personal and professional relationships and are in need of our deliberate attention.  A good habit to adopt is to give level number three the most weight in communicating.  Think of the listener as the customer.  It is the customer’s opinion that matters most in many business relationships so let this be your guide.