Learning Negotiation Skills from Children
Robert Menard, Certified Purchasing Professional, Certified Professional Purchasing Consultant
Children are good negotiators. They interpret ‘no’ to mean ‘maybe’, do not give up easily, and ask for more than they want.
They do not take no for an answer Kids dislodge parental authority by asking “Why”. If they move past “Because I said so”, then they may overcome the objection. The grown up equivalent words in the sales negotiation context are, “Tell me about it.” This statement opens the door to frank communication and dislodges the ‘No’ answer.
They are persistent and creative A rejection merely whets their creativity. On my 8-year-old daughter Brie’s annual Girl Scout cookie campaign, a neighbor said that she had already bought. Brie countered, “The thin mints are especially good as frozen treats”. As the neighbor reconsidered, my budding sales pro added, “They are great for snacks when guests arrive.” The neighbor bought three boxes, and I relearned an excellent lesson.
They listen and they ask the “What if” question Since kids hear ‘no’ as ‘maybe’, they relish the opportunity to convert ‘no’ to the ‘yes’ column. For instance, Brie asked, “what if I do tomorrow’s homework today? Then Allison and I can go to the mall until dinner.” While it would annoy a buyer if we were to continually ask ‘why’, we refine it to the “What if” question to reach the same result. For example, “What if we were to extend the price protection? Would that seal the deal?”
Brie and Alison, Girl Scout Cookie sales pros
They do not use tentative language Notice how Brie’s “What if” question closes in the affirmative. Kids know confidence precedes the sale. They phrase presentations in optimistic terms and avoid tentative language that might invite denial. If Brie used the conditional premise of, “If I do my homework today, can I stay longer at the mall with Allison tomorrow?” the pessimistic tone itself puts the result in jeopardy.
Their enthusiasm pumps up the customer Dressed in her Girl Scout vest, Brie ran to up each house, fully expecting to close every sale. After introducing herself and the cookies, she asked the closing question, “How many boxes do you want today?” She had the order sheet and the pen in hand. When sales professionals lose enthusiasm, it tells the customer that there is no compelling reason to buy.
They use High Initial Demands (HID) to their advantage Kids train their “customers” by presenting HID. A psychologist friend’s daughter told her horrified father that she wanted a nose ring. He tried in vain to persuade her of the hygienic and sociological risks. She burst into a tirade of how she would be scarred for life without such a fashion statement. Caving to relentless pressure, he compromised on his daughter’s ‘reluctant’ concession that she get pierced ears instead. To reward her wisdom, and relieve his guilt, dad threw in a pair of earrings.
On the way out the door, she winked at me and whispered, “Wow, all I really wanted was pierced ears, but I got earrings too.” Unskilled adult negotiators reject HID in a naïve attempt to save time and effort. Kids know better.
Certainly, kids can teach us many lessons about negotiation that we have forgotten as we matured. Their tactics may be primitive for business setting, but the moral of the negotiation story remains constant.