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Go Ahead Surprise Me: Dealing with the Unexpected in Negotiation

Linda Byars Swindling, negotiation authority, former employment attorney, and author

Linda Byars Swindling, negotiation authority, former employment attorney, and author

Editor’s note: Linda Swindling is a frequent contributor to this blog. 

Surprises can be both pleasant and unpleasant. Be ready for both. Here are three surprises you might encounter. 

The Gift

Occasionally you are thrown a gift, a very pleasant surprise. A gift occurs when the other party gives you a much better opening position than you anticipate. Before accepting, make sure that you have analyzed the bargain properly. For instance, if the initial offer of the other party is much higher or lower than you first anticipated, review your position before making your counter offer. An unexpected response may signal you have not realized exactly what the deal entails or even that you and the other party are talking about different expectations. 

The Shock

If someone rejects an unattractive offer, don’t immediately dismiss it or get aggravated. Instead start asking questions in a courteous and inquisitive manner. “Just so I understand, what were you including when you came up with that offer? How did you get to that number? What is that amount based on?”  Good negotiators remember that you discuss any offer that is made. They determine the reasoning behind an offer they didn’t expect. Remember that it is rare to ask too many questions.  

 Always remember to leave yourself an out or an escape. Some of the biggest negotiation nightmares occur when there isn’t enough time to reflect or you are forced to make an uninformed decision. Negotiate the deadline before you negotiate a deal. Ask for a break. Get back to them if necessary but collect yourself first.

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The Deadline 

 Whether you’re surprised by the Gift, the Shock or the Deadline, you can always respond with the words, “That isn’t what I expected.” I’ll need to get back with you. It’s the truth. It gives you time (even thirty minutes) to think and you can regroup. Surprises, good and bad, can actually enhance an opportunity and give you time to improve your results. Accept going in that you will be surprised at some part of the process. This will put you far ahead of most negotiators. It will help you not get thrown and make you look like a pro. Go ahead…surprise me. 

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